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Tucker Max Quotes

Hilarity Ensues, Quote #26

HotWaitress “I think your friend here is a Muppet. He has no body hair, no sex drive, and he’s always making snide comments.”
SlingBlade “Bitch please. I’ve stepped over better looking girls than you trying to find a quiet place to masturbate.”
HotWaitress “You can masturbate now? Is your mom proud that you’re finally able to maintain an erection?”
SlingBlade “I’m going to take a steaming dump in your vagina.”
HotWaitress “I guess that’s what I would do if I was mad I couldn’t stay hard.”

—from Hilarity Ensues