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Tucker Max Quotes

Hilarity Ensues, Quote #11

Tucker “Now now, don’t cry—it’ll be OK. My penis will solve all your problems.”
Monkey “Fuck you and [to D-Rock] fuck you and fuck your terrible jokes!! I hope you die!”
Tucker “I must be reading you all wrong—are you saying that you don’t want to hook up?”
D-Rock “Tucker, the only way she’s gonna give you any pussy is if you adopt her cat.”
Monkey “You are the most disgusting and vile thing I’ve ever met! I wouldn’t touch you with a ten-foot pole!!”
Tucker “It’s a shame that you don’t feel the same way about carbs.”

The fat joke lost her friends. Hit too close to home, I guess. Gluten addiction—the silent cock-blocker.

—from Hilarity Ensues