Assholes Finish First

Book Description

What do you do when you’ve become rich and famous for writing a #1 best-selling book about your drunken, sexual misadventures? I’ll tell you what I do: I write another fucking book.

This is that book. Assholes Finish First is hilarious in ways you will recognize from I Hope They Serve Beer In Hell, and in other, newer ways you won’t. Of course it has all the sex and debauchery you expect from my writing, but with a twist. You already know how I deal with women when I am poor and anonymous. You have no idea how I do it when I have money and fame.

It also answers the hard questions you’ve never thought of asking. What’s it like to have sex with a midget? How about two of ’em? What happens when you eat too much beef jerky and then drink a gallon of vegetable juice? Or get head in an X-ray machine? The answers are inside, they are absurd, and they are the product of one man’s experiences:

My name is still Tucker Max, and I am still an asshole.

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