Hilarity Ensues In Stores

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The “Assholes Finish First” Book Tour Wrap-Up

Thanks: First off, I just want to thank everyone who came out to the signings, you guys were awesome and I appreciate everyone who came out (with the exception of the five morons).

How to get a signed copy of AFF: If you want a signed copy of “Assholes Finish First” but couldn’t make it out to a tour stop, you can buy one off my merchandise page. I only have a few hundred signed copies of AFF left, so if you want one, get it now.

How to get a signed copy of IHTSBIH: You can buy a signed hardcover copy of “I Hope They  Serve Beer In Hell” also. There are substantially more of these than there are signed copies of AFF, but they’re not unlimited. I signed several thousand, and once they’re gone, that’s it.

Funny Pictures: This was the night my tour assistant, Brittney “The Skank Whisperer” Cason wrote about on her blog. I have a midget on my shoulders and a giant next to me holding the umbrella (she’s 6’3”). Not pictured: The five deaf girls with me.
SAM_0117.jpg

-Someone at the Philly stop has a sense of humor. Click the picture to see the title of the white book.
SAM_0146.JPG

-My protestors are getting pathetically lazy. They taped this to the outside of the store in Boston and just left.
My protestors are getting lazy

-About to start the signing at Walter Reed Army Medical Center.
At Walter Reed

-I’m so big in Portland, even Jesus came out to see me.
Jesus approves!!

-In Tampa, a pregnant woman wanted me to sign her stomach. So I put this:
So I wrote this

-In LA, did Dr. Drew for the third time. Pretty much my favorite press thing to do, and the only thing I like about LA.
Me, Dr. Drew, and Mike

-I got served with a law suit, right before the Charlotte book signing. It was pretty funny.
Getting served bf Charlotte book signing

-This dude was at the Charlotte signing. As soon as I saw him, I yelled out “BABY RUUUTH!!” Without even flinching, he yelled back “FRIIIIEEEEND!!” So awesome.
BABY RUTH!!!!

-This is the clincher. In Denver, this dude came out, got me to sign his back, and then got it TATTOOED INTO HIS BACK. Wow:
Dude has me signing his bra

You won't believe this one

This is a tattoo. On a dude. I'm as speechless as you

Book reviews: I didn’t send my book out for reviews, because my first one sold millions of copies without them, and this book debuted at #3 on the best seller list without them, so fuck it. But some people did reviews anyway, and they were pretty much all positive; this one was my favorite, with this one second.

Nightline: I did a ton of press for the tour, most of it uninteresting, but the piece on Nightline was OK.  (except for the fact that they interviewed me for 25 minutes about Karen Owens, and showed none of it. So I wrote something about her and The Duke Fuck List and put it here)


More press
: These are some more articles or interviews or random things that I thought were pretty good or worth reading:
Good interview with a writer who gets it

A great interview, perhaps one of the best I’ve ever done

A writer who watched the Buffalo signing and wrote up his thoughts

Good interview before the Denver signing
An interview that centers around Japanese culture, but is still interesting
Some guy got caught stealing my book from a book signing
A funny review of the Portland signing

Review of the Houston signing

The numbers: Over 32 stops I signed a total of 10,200 books, which averages about 320 books a stop. I have no idea how many pictures I took or how many people I met or how much I drank or any of that shit or how many girls I hooked up with; at some point, you just stop counting.